Sunday, Oct. 19, 2003 - 6:44 a.m.
Omg!!!
I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucked up last night. it is 6:44am right now and I woke up, with my hair wet, messed up, and naked under a long shirt. I was soooooo fucken wasted last night. I was sooooooooooo depressed that I couldnt find a friend that was available to go with me to the gig cuz I thought Pony was gonna be there so I could see him (plus since its his b-day) but since I couldnt find anyone, i got depressed cuz I really wanted to see him! ANyways, so I decided to drink (since drinking makes me happy). So,I drank a full cup of vodka with juice which was really damn good, but they didnt make me any different. I wanted to be drunk so I can be happy, so I got vodka (strongggg ass one) and took 21 shots in a fucken row!! The next thing I know, I'm walking sideways and saying stupid crap and falling. And then, omg, I go outside and ACTUALLY CALL PONY!! (I can call him when Im drunk cuz I dont give a fuck but sober, im shy and such a wimp!) anyways I callled him, and just to make sure it wasnt a dream, I checked my cellphone (from where I had call him) and it said It has his name and number in my redial button so I know now for sure that I really called him-TWICE! omg I was sooo fucken strupid and desperate for him. I remmeber some of the chat,I wasnt nervous to call him of course cuz i was drunk, so I went outside and called him and I remember it rang like 3 times. A guy answered so I said, "Is Abraham there?" and he said "yessssss" and it was quiet for like a second or 2 then I realized it was him so I said "Abraham?" and he said "yes" and I said, "Heyyy!! It's Priscilla, you know who I am right?" and he said, "Yes , from OR" and I said "yeah. I wanted to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY." and he said "Thank you" so I asked him what he did and he said nothing and to my surprised I said "NOTHING???? Did you go to the gig?" and he said "no" (to myother suprise) and I asked him why not and i dont member what he said. so then I just kept saying stupid stuff. First I asked him what was new and he said nothing that he just has home studies so he asked me whhat was new and I was thinking and I said nothing, but that I was drunk. And he was like "oh yeah?" and I said, "Yeah!" and he asked me what I drank and I told him "21 shots of vodka" and he said damn. Then, he asked me where I was and I told him at my sisters, then like I fell so I told him like, "whoa! LOL I just fell on the sidewalk" and I am not sure what he said, i think it was something like, kinda laughing a lil bit but like in a "ur crazy" way. I asked him if he was with adriana and he said no and I was like "really? ur not with her????????? cuz sum1 told me u were." and he said "no" and I said, "Thats gooooooooooooooood!...so ur really not with her?" and he said No. Then I told him something bout his birthday. I asked him what he wanted for a present and he said he didnt know. So I told him, "I wanna buy you a birthday present. what do you want?" and he said, "I dont know" and I said, "well, I know you like cigerettes and weed and alchocol" and he laughed. then I said, "what r u doing 2marrow?" and he said "nothing. what r u doig 2marrow?" and I said nothing. Then I asked him, "what r u doing next weekend?" and he said "I dont know." so I said, "come over to my house cuz my parents r leaving for Vegas so I can buy you a present. I wanna buy u a present." and he said "ok" And fuck, he sounded soo fucken hott over the phone. So I told him, "damn, you sound soo hott over the phone." and he laughed and I said, "I miss you!" and I kept telling him that I miss him over and over again and that I need to see him and that I miss hanging out with him and that he is a cool person and is fun hanging out with i dont remember what he said about that, i think he laughed but in a good way. then, LOL I told him "Man u sound soo hot over the phone!! I wanna do it with you!" how embaressing!!! and he just kept saying like "oh really?" (but i guess he was just going along with me since i was drunk) and I said yeah. And I kept telling him that I wanted to do it with him and that I wanted to see him. And he just kept saying "oh really?" then i fell again so I told him "HAHA I just fell again. Im on the floor. And im like whooooooooooooa" and he laughed. Then I asked him "How come you didnt call me?" and he said "Cuz Ilost ur number" so I started saying my number but really slow, like trying to think of it. So he laughed and said, "U dont even remember ur number?" but then i did so I told him. Then, he kept putting me on hold, I guesss cuz of call waiting. he said "I have to let u go its for my brother." and I said "noooo u sound hot over the phone. I miss you. I wanna see you." and he said somthing that he had to go. So i told him then that next weekend for him to come to my house and he said okay (hah yeah right!!!) andI told him to call me 2marrow. And he said he will. And I kept telling him over and over again "call me 2marrow. dont 4get!! call me! call me. call me. call me 2marrow." and he said, "I will." and I said "okay well dont forget.....bye!" and he said "bye." and we hung up. Then I was trying to walk inside my sisters house and everything felt weird and blurry and spinny. so I told crystal, "I just called pony and he said he was gonna call me 2marrow" and she said "ok well now go to bed" and I said, "Omg did I really call him? or maybe it was a dream. U know Im dreaming. Im dreaming I know it. it never happened. Im dreaming. Am I dreaming?" and crystal would confuse me cuz she would say yes and she would say no but she kept telling me i was drunk. So then I said, "I have to call him again to make sure Im not dreaming." and she kept telling me, "No. dont. he said he was gonna call u 2marrow." and I said, "But i want to make sure i wasnt dreaming. So me as a stupid fuck, called him again! LOL im such a dumbass!! as if the 1st time didnt sound soo desperate...i know i sounded desperate for him and im soo stupid! Anyways, I called him again at 9 something and I asked "Is Abraham there?" and the guy said "No sorry he just stepped out." And I said "ohh...." then i was thinking. then I said "Abraham is that you?" and like it was him, thinking he can pretend he's his brother. I guess tryng to avoid talking to me:( but he then said "yeah its me" and I said "i just wanted to know if this is really happening or if im just dreaming am I dreaming?" LOL omg i feel soooo stupid!!!!!!!!! and he said "No." and I said "SO im NOT dreaming? okay." and he said "no." and I could tell it was time to hang up so I kept reminding him to call me 2marrow for him not to 4get to call me call me call me. and he said "I will" Yeah right!! maybe cuz i was drunk he was just saying that. and we finally hung up. so what do u think? i feel stupid. It is 6:24am right now and my stomache hurts like fuck. I wonder what Pony thinks of me now. I know that I threw up ALOT ALOT ALOT and i musta threw up all pover my clothes and shit cuz i remember my sister giving me a shower. omg i just can believe i called him.!!! and yes he did sounded sooo fucken hott over the phone!!!!! Big turn on!! Oh yeah and I also kept telling him that i missed him and needed to to see him, over and over again....again can I say SOOOO FUCKEN DESPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
remember I havent seen pony since the last week of july so I musta sounded more desperate then what i thought.
